Larry the Cable Guy

I don’t understand Larry the Cable Guy. There is one thing I can say without hesitation: I don’t consider him a comedian, at least what I believe a comedian should be, at least not an Enlightened one.
As I am writing this long-hand before I type it into the online world, I am sleeping in, what was fifteen years ago, my cousin’s bedroom in what is still my aunt’s home in Landenberg, Pennsylvania. I am lying here trying to go to sleep so that I can wake up and go to a family reunion in West Chester, just a tad north of Landenberg. I know it will be difficult to explain to my relatives what I do. What will be most frustrating is if I tell people that I am a comedian, they will automatically associate me not with George Carlin, Lewis Black, Bill Hicks, or Richard Pryor, but with Larry, the Cable Guy. Being West Chester, I will probably be peppered with “Git-R-Done” again and again throughout the entire damned afternoon.
I do not make blanket statements like this without having evidence that backs up my claims. I have seen a few Larry the Cable Guy performances, those few have been enough for me. I don’t care to watch any more. Coming out to applause at the start of his set, he will dance to get the audience more riled up. After the dance, he’ll inform his audience, “Yeah, I had to get ma’ underwear outta ma’ crack.” The first time you see it, it’s kind of funny. And I mean “kinda.” After you see it a few more times, it is not even “kinda.” He does this at the start of EVERY set???? Hmmm … you would think that this man would figure out that this problem was going to occur ahead of time and rectify the situation before coming out on stage. However, if he gets rid of that one bit, he will lose half of his act that will actually work with an Enlightened audience.
The other half, of course, is the catchphrase “Git-R-Done.” This guy should be able to stroll out, say “Git-R-Done” non-stop for forty minutes, walk offstage, collect his check and be on his way until the next time he’s thrown into the barrel like a monkey at the Delaware State Fair.
Comedy is supposed to be performers having original thou8ghts, which is to say that the comedian is to bring his own original thoughts to a particular subject. Larry, the Cable Guy may do this, but the whole idea is cheapened and compromised by the catchphrase, which I can tell the Cable Guy himself is getting sick of saying time and time again. I can just see the pain on his face when he realizes the only way to shut some loudmouth hillbilly heckler in the audience up is to say “Git-R-Done” the MIDDLE of one of his bits. With a catchphrase, he was painted himself into a corner out of which there is no way to get out.
Speaking of catchphrases, there is something else Larry the Cable Guy says that, if said by other comic, particularly a struggling one, would get them the cold shoulder from the audience. After a particularly off-color joke, “Larry” will say “I don’t care who you are. That’s funny right there.” I’ve got news for you. Judging from my own personal experiences about what I find funny and other performances from comics bombing on stage while begging (unsuccessfully) for laughs, if a comedian has to tell someone that a joke is funny after you tell it, it’s not. End of discussion. As far as I’m concerned, that bit is never going to be funny.
To sum it up, I do what I do. Larry the Cable Guy does what he does. There are fans of me. There are fans of Larry the Cable Guy. I know that the chances of these two groups mingling are less than one percent. I say, let everyone do what they want to do.
And as a side note, during the reunion, there was not one “Git-R-Done” uttered. There is still hope for the people of West Chester, Pennsylvania.